I might have lost an acquaintance because of 'Pregnant Women Are Smug.' But we weren't close. Actually, I don't know if the woman knows the song is about her. I have a feeling she might.

It's more fun to write stuff when you know someone's going to nail it.

The element of surprise - where you think you know where a joke is going, and then you're wrong. Those are my favorite kind of jokes.

It's really hard to name a band.

There's conflict in every story.

Rich people are so eccentric, and I don't think people really realize. Especially by the turn of the century, they were living like rappers, and there was no income tax. They are some of the most fascinating people, and I am endlessly fascinated.

People who take more than 2 weeks to plan a wedding are pussies

Rich people are so eccentric, and I don't think people really realize. Especially by the turn of the century, they were living like rappers.

Beige curtains... there's nothing wrong with them. You're not like, 'Ew, gross! Beige curtains!' You just don't notice them either way. They're just, like, fine.

I think my parents wanted me to be whatever I wanted to be. But I do remember them - when I first moved out to L.A. - sending me applications to grad school for teaching.